I Appreciate You!
Written by Karen Smith, PhD
How often do you feel appreciated at work? By appreciated, I mean seen, heard, and valued. For the vast majority of people, the answer to that question might be “Never.”
That doesn’t mean that their supervisors haven't told them they’re doing a good job or thanked them for putting in long hours or given them a gift at the end of the year. Maybe they’ve even received an award or been given a promotion. Still, most people rarely have the experience of feeling appreciated for who they are in the workplace.
How surprising! What’s going on?
Occasionally you may encounter a curmudgeonly manager who thinks it’s unnecessary to reward people for doing their jobs. But a work culture built on such a stingy, wrong-headed philosophy is unlikely to be a place where people care about giving their best effort every day. Most leaders know that it’s important to provide their team members with positive feedback in order to keep them engaged and motivated.
It turns out that not all positive feedback is equal. Praising a job well done does not have the same impact as commenting on a person’s unique contribution to the team. There are some important distinctions between praise, recognition, and appreciation that leaders should be aware of. They are all important, but they serve different purposes.
Praise is specific feedback about a discrete skill or behavior you want to increase. When shaping a new behavior or trying to change an old behavior, praise is a powerful teaching tool. For example, “You made it to work on time 4 out of 5 days this week. That’s an improvement!” Or, “Your response time is getting quicker. Great effort!” Done well, praise encourages growth. Done poorly, it can feel manipulative and insincere.
Recognition is acknowledgement of a performance-based achievement. It often takes the form of a celebration: a shout-out, an award, or a bonus. It is conditional; that is, it’s earned – and only given to those who meet the mark. As well, it is occasional – and usually bestowed by someone in a position of authority. Done well, recognition can vicariously motivate the entire team. Done poorly, it can sew seeds of resentment.
Appreciation points beyond accomplishments to the heart of a person’s worth as a team member and as a unique human being. There are abundant opportunities, unrelated to the outcome of a person’s efforts, to connect with who they are. For example, “I admire your ability to stay calm when the rest of us are freaking out.” Or, “Your sense of humor is essential around here, especially on a day like today!” Done well, it shows that you are paying attention to the person behind the work.
Appreciation can be expressed by anyone at any time, regardless of work hierarchies. In fact, people at the top need love too. We all want to be heard, seen, and understood. We all want to be noticed and valued. When we feel appreciated at work, we’re more likely to feel connected to our team and committed to our work. It’s a win all the way around.
