Encouragement Is an Act of Love

Written by Dr. Holly Ward, PhD

The world needs more encouragers.

“Have courage,” says the encourager. A reminder of strength, a word of support, a gift of hope: these are the hallmarks of an encourager. If you have experienced encouragement in a moment of need, you understand the power simple acts can have when we are facing overwhelming challenges. Being an encourager is a trait that is often overlooked, but it is needed in abundance, particularly now.

In the last two years, we have collectively been through a series of unprecedented challenges and hardships for which none of us could have been prepared. It has been a time of loss, uncertainty, and disconnection. Many among us are quietly experiencing indescribable despair. The effects of a global pandemic are truly global, as statistics show that a large percentage of the world’s population is suffering from depression and other signs of emotional distress. In a cruel twist, the isolation required to keep us safe has amplified the isolating feelings of inertia, fatigue, and despondency. When we need community most, it has been the hardest thing to sustain. We need each other.

No one walks through life alone.

Think of all the times you felt discouraged and consider how you found the strength to persevere. Did a family member take time to listen and affirm you? Did a friend give you a pep talk? Did you meditate, pray, or speak encouragement to yourself? It doesn’t take much encouragement to change the trajectory of someone’s self-worth, perspective for their future, and their life. 

Whether it is internal or external, encouragement is an act of love. “To love is to act intentionally, in sympathetic response to others…to promote well-being” (Oord, 2005, p. 919). How do we begin this intentional act to be an encourager for ourselves and others? We start by cultivating a heart of gratitude and looking for opportunities to show kindness.

This requires that we pay attention.

Here are some simple ways to begin to pay deeper attention and tune in to those opportunities for kindness and encouragement:

1. Connect with Others
   Move throughout your day with the intention to connect with the people around you. You never know if that moment of connection was exactly what someone needed to be encouraged. Actions that foster connection are simple and easy to do: smile, give praise, show genuine interest and concern, and of course, speak words of encouragement. All of these can draw a discouraged person back into the living and activate them socially once again.

2. Engage in Dialogue
   True dialogue allows us to interact with deep respect for others. The intention here is to be genuine, curious, and interested in learning from and about others. Dialogue is not thinking of what you’re going to say next while waiting for the other person to finish speaking-- it is listening to hear what others are saying, which shows that we value their thoughts and feelings. 

3. Instill Confidence
   With the heightened awareness developed as you move through the world intentionally paying attention, you may more readily notice someone struggling. A severe loss, whether in earning power or in relationships, can make someone feel that they can no longer function in their former full capacity. But because you’ve been paying attention, you know that they still have the basic gifts and character traits that once served them well. Gently reminding them of who they are, what they have accomplished, and the opportunities that are still theirs to seize can help them find confidence again. Your belief, assurance, and outreach can make all the difference.

4. Offer Hope
   All is not lost. Hope is powerful, and the abandonment of hope is a deep loss. When you offer hope to someone in the pits of despair, you inspire them to believe again that there is something better, allowing them to start anew. Offering hope can look like guiding someone to see their purpose in this life, reminding them of their history of great relationship, or giving assurance that more possibilities still remain. A constructive dialogue focuses on what we can do now, not why we can’t do things. The encourager keeps in mind that there is always a path to trying again.

5. Lift Others Up
   A rising tide lifts all boats. When we use our power as encouragers to lift those around us, we are in turn lifted up. Lifting someone up can mean being present with someone struggling and reminding them of all their fantastic abilities to recharge and renew them. It can mean empowering someone who has been disenfranchised. It can mean praising and affirming your daily contacts to foster connections and energize both the giver and receiver. An encourager is rarely themselves discouraged, because even when it is your turn to face something hard, the connections that you have built through lifting others up will continue to support you in your time of need.

Being an encourager is a lifestyle.

As you develop the art of encouragement, you grow in strength of character and serve as a blessing to people in their most needful time. It does not cost anything to become an encourager. You don’t need money, great wisdom, or special training. You can begin from wherever you are, simply by setting the intention to pay attention. As you find opportunities to encourage others, you will also find encouragement for yourself. As you connect, engage in dialogue, instill confidence, offer hope, and lift others up, you will also learn to connect with yourself, engage in dialogue with yourself, instill confidence in yourself, offer hope to yourself, and thereby lift yourself up.

As we do this for each other and ourselves, there truly is hope for a better tomorrow.